“We write to taste life twice.” — Anais Nin


I don’t know where the time goes.

It’s been more than two months since I posted anything here. There are dozens of reasons for my lapse, but they can largely be summed up in one word: motherhood.

I have done some work for a client, but we’ve sort of been operating in fits and starts on his projects as he’s also been busy. Much of May and June disappeared in a whirlwind of volunteer duties as I wrapped up my first year as Troop Coordinator at American Heritage Girls Troop OR0207. But the bulk of my time over the last six weeks or so has consisted of driving children to the pool, movie theater, skating rink, doctor’s office, dentist, library, friend’s houses, campouts, scout meetings, and on and on. The summer has been a hectic one, and while I have a tiny lull in the busy-ness right now, it looks to be just as hectic in August.

The upshot is that I have not been able to focus much on the freelance copywriting business. While that’s frustrating, I also have to keep reminding myself that my kids will only be this age once, and that in a few years, the summers will drag for lack of things to do. (Although I do confess that I look forward to next summer when my oldest will be a licensed driver . . . It will be nice when he can take his siblings to the pool, movies, and skating rink!)


There have been other things happening around here, too.

I’ve mentioned that I used to write fiction. Those who know me will remember that I had a blog a few years ago. They will also recall that writing and publishing my fiction caused me no end of anxiety. I finally gave up, killed my blog, unpublished my work, and disappeared.

And promptly ushered myself in to one of the most difficult and painful times of my life.

I won’t bore my current audience with a rehashing of my struggles. Suffice to say that they largely involved issues of faith, and I don’t want this blog or site to be about my faith. But I will share that I do (sometimes reluctantly) align myself with those who call themselves Evangelical Christians. As an Evangelical Christian, I had to figure out several things:

Where my writing fit in my life, family, world, and faith journey.

Why I should (or shouldn’t) write.

What kind of content I should write.

Whether I had enough talent or skill to even bother writing for myself, much less others.

When I left writing behind, my spirit and soul were crushed. I had to start from square one. And while I know how it sounds to those who don’t share my faith, I had to let God rebuild me from the ground up.


And here I am, two years later–alive and well, rebuilt, more grounded, more balanced (I hope).

What did I learn? What did I remember?

I learned that there is value in sharing, even if the work is imperfect.

I remembered that it was the writing I loved, not the publishing or the marketing or the sad and vain attempts to gain followers or sales.

I learned that the creativity will come out in some way if I resist the writing (hence the many sewing and knitting jags I’ve been on in the last two years).

Mostly–most importantly–I remembered that writing is my act of worship.

And so . . .

My work is live on Amazon again.

And for those who want to read more, yes, I am working on the sequel to Ravenmarked.


What does this all mean?

I still plan to rebuild my freelance commercial writing, though I probably won’t have much time to focus on that process until September. I have no plans to ever consider my fiction a real income stream again. At best, it’s a hobby income; at worst, I’m just sharing because I want my stories to be shared.

I do plan to work on more fiction; I have some partial short stories and novellas sitting on my hard drive, waiting to be completed. I still want to develop my dragon western world and the stories therein. I think that world is ripe with stories. But first and foremost, I will–I will— finish my high fantasy series, The Taurin Chronicles.

The difference? The difference this time is that I don’t plan to market my fiction.

No massive blog series.

No frantic blog tours.

No writer round-robins.

No dramatic cover reveals.

Most of all, no writer angst. Or at least, I promise I’ll keep it to a minimum.

Just a few updates on occasion, maybe a snippet of something here and there, and a simple announcement when new work becomes available.

Because I’ve finally figured out that I am a writer.

I have stories to tell.

And as a writer, I am indeed fortunate.

I get to taste life twice.


12 thoughts on “Changes”

  1. Amy, I’m so glad to hear about the positive changes in your life, and that you’re working on the follow-up to ‘Ravenmarked’. {Does happy dance:-)} I realised it was back on Amazon because I got a ‘Your review helped a customer’ email, and also a question from someone asking how romancey it was, and whether there was sex in it! I answered as best I could.

    I’m aiming to be a ‘hobby’ writer, too. I have my first book almost ready to go live in September and a couple more in the pipeline, but I’m not doing it for the money. Really it’s because I just love writing these weird stories that are in my head, and letting the characters loose on the world. It’s not perfect (what is?) but I’m not going to obsess over it. I like your plan of minimum marketing – that’s my strategy too. The low-stress method.

    All the best with your writing and your life,


    1. Thank you, Pauline. You are right–nothing is perfect. And I think the only way I can stay sane is to think of this as a hobby–something I do because I’m oddly compelled to do it. There’s something about the sharing that sort of . . . I don’t know . . . authenticates or validates the work. That’s the best way I can say it.

      Congratulations on your upcoming publication! Yes, low-stress is the way to go. I don’t think marketing makes any difference, anyway, and doing all that marketing just adds more stress. I’d rather put my energies into the story. 🙂

      Best to you,


  2. You communicate your journey beautifully Amy. Thank you for sharing and may God bless you as you continue to use the gifts He has given you – one of which is obviously to share through writing. Haha although I sincerely doubt your summers will ever drag for lack of things to do, you are so completely right that your children are only young once and the uniqueness of those years is irreplaceable. Both the joys and the struggles of it all! Oh and not to mention the difficulties of learning how to be a transparent and honest follower of Christ – admitting there are lots of answers we don’t have, and relying on God’s mercy and grace for all we get wrong, and all we get right. Always so much to learn.

    Enjoy your kids, enjoy your husband, and enjoy your writing when it fits into your schedule…someday you WILL have more leisure time to pursue that passion. Thanks again for sharing Amy – love Cindy

    1. Cindy, you are right–my summers will probably never drag! Before I know it, we’ll be in the graduation/wedding/grandkid stage of life! 🙂 I would like to spend less time in the car, though. That would be nice.

      Authenticity is so hard for me. Well, it’s not hard in real life–just on the Internet. Probably the place I’m the most authentic is in my writing. It’s hard to have a place like that where I *am* authentic and vulnerable. But I have these stories in my head for a reason, and as long as the compulsion to share them is there, then I guess I will share them.

      I have always appreciated your encouragement and kind words, Cindy. Thank you for taking the time to comment.


  3. Amy, again, glad to see you back, and it sounds like you’ve made decisions that will be a protection going forward.

    Family and health are the key (sometimes one to the other, I think), so keep your head up. Don’t be surprised if, when the kid(s) start to drive, it’s a whole ‘nother source of anxiety. Was for me… still is, sometimes, truth be told.

    Thanks again for your help. And as I’ve said to exactly one other writer: Based on what I’ve read so far, I’d crit anything you’re willing to have me read, even your grocery list!
    That’s the category your writing is in for me.

    Thanks for sharing.

  4. I couldn’t believe it when I saw your FB post pop up in my feed this morning. I’ve wondered many times where you disappeared to. I’m glad to see you’ve found your way back to a place you’re comfortable with. I wish you all the best.

  5. WHAT!!!!

    Ah, I’m so excited for you (and for more books!) 😀
    I’ve arrived at this party a little late but *happy dance* anyway.

  6. I missed this the first time (hence my late comment), but just saw another link more recent on my FB page, and combed back through to this one.

    Once a writer, always a writer. If it’s any consolation, I’ve tried quitting a couple times too. Never works, always makes me miserable. I don’t bother anymore. 😉

    I’m glad you’re writing again, and most importantly, I’m glad you’ve found your way through to a mentally healthier place. Welcome back. You were missed. 🙂

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